Day 9: The search for Day 8

I missed a day out of my blog.  Partly on purpose, and partly because I was so engrossed in my writing.

I also realised that my writing about the day consisted of going back a day, and I'm not sure that made sense.  So here I am on day 9, the last day of the retreat and my last full day before heading down south to Monterey.

I've tried to shy away from giving my opinions of people, and to focus more on what I'm feeling, experiencing and seeing.  I hope it doesn't come across as self absorbed.  For the same reason I've tried to stay away from naming people unless it doesn't matter or make sense.  But another reason for not writing yesterday was because I would have gone against these self imposed rules.  Don't worry, its nothing bad, in fact far from it.  I just tend to write these blogs and post, so what you get is unedited (poorly spelt and grammatically incorrect) thoughts as they pour onto the page.  I think if I'd written yesterday it would have been an outpouring of praise which would have rambled on and on...

I am truly in a heavenly and inspiring place.  The staff, the retreat group, the setting.  Its hard to describe.  I thought I'd be lonely, shutting myself away, but instead I feel free.  Yesterday Sean, the director, asked if I felt boxed in having spent so many days at the Ranch without a car or way out.  I think its because he saw me loitering by the kitchen.  I was actually doing laundry (oh, and the American fable of losing socks in the dryer is true!).  I told him honesty that I didn't.  There was so much to see and do, and so much space to sit and think. and importantly to write.  I'm going to be really sad leaving this place.

People said to me before I left, "You won't want to come back," and I thought it doesn't matter how much I love it, of course I'll want to come back.  Home is home.  But like someone said to me over breakfast this morning, I've now found a second home in California.

So tomorrow is the big trip.  The next three days are the ones I was dreading the most after riding the BART.  That trip was good, so I hope the next part is as well.  The drive is making me nervous, and then spending two days alone.  Although I've spent a lot of time alone here, I've always been able to speak to people in the morning and evenings.  Not having that will be hard.

But I'm looking forward to spending time with Brian, Sarah and Mary in Monterey and Scott's Valley.  I think it will be really interesting seeing how parishes work out here.  I've already learnt a lot from the ladies, about their faith, churches and the outlook of the episcopal community.

I just wanted to sign off with a note to my fellow writers, just in case you read this blog.  It has been my pleasure to work alongside you all.  You are an inspiration and all so talented.  I would love to see how each of your works progress and if you ever find yourselves on the other side of the pond (picking up the lingo), please feel free to come pay me a visit.