Hmmmm

Ok, so yesterday's task was to draft chapter 19, and edit/rewrite the prologue, and chapters 1, 2 & 3.

Didn't quite go to plan.

Not for lack of trying I should add!  Yesterday I worked from 9 to 5, with a few breaks, and managed to edit the prologue and the first two chapters.  I'm really happy with both, and not planning on changing either now until after it's been sent out to an agent, but boy was it hard work!

Hehe yeah I keep telling you how hard it is.  Probably because I don't think anyone believes me.

Yesterday by 5.30pm when I shut down the PC and went to my parents, my eyes were sire, head ached and I was so tired.  Editing really pushes your brain into high gear!  Analysis in every word. With all the notes from Sweden I thought it would be easier, but I think it just focussed me more on what I was trying to say.

A wise man (Gentle Ben) said "take your weekends off" something I've not done these last few weeks. I was planning on doing that from now on, but I think I might make today an exception just to catch up.  I'm also thinking that I can't edit and write new chapters in the same day.  The mental process is different; free flowing writing and deep analytical thought.

So my task for the end of the weekend: edit chapters 3 & 4.  The Monday write chapters 19 & 20.

Have a great weekend all.

Final push: day one

I'm up and ready to go... ish.  Cuppa tea and then sitting down to write.

Today's aims: draft chapter 19, and edit chapters 1-3 plus prologue.  I'm hoping to get into glos today, and then a meal at my parents tonight to share photos.

See ya tomorrow!

Life is for living

So I've decided to make a series of short blog entries each morning, everyday, until I send off my novel to an agent. There is quite a away to go, but my recent trips to Lincoln and then Sweden have really set me up nicely. If I don't finish, I'll have no excuses and only myself to blame.  I'm giving my self just over two weeks to finish. This will give me four/five days of "holiday" to spend time with my grandparents who I've not seen since last year.

I'm 18 chapters down, which need editing/rewriting, based in discussions in Sweden, and the write the final chapters which I now have a very clear blueprint for.

I arrived home in the very early hours yesterday morning around 1am, and most of Wednesday is a blur to me. I woke up this morning intending to write, but each time I sat down nothing came to me.  For the last three weeks I've looked at my writing everyday, so I guess a break is ok :)  instead I've taken myself off into the woods. Currently sat by a stream with no one else around, reading a novel which isn't mine and writing this. I feel so at peace. So relaxed.

Tomorrow I start writing.  The idea of the morning blogs is to layout my aims for the day, and then say if I achieved the previous days ones. Sort of a self motivation blog :)

I'll be honest, I'm starting to miss work and the people there. Just that daily contact. I've not heard anything so I'm assuming all is well (not to well, I need to be missed a little bit). But I'm on the home straight now. It's do or die time. I've been given this opportunity and the next few weeks will determine if I'm ... I was going to write winner or loser, but I think its different to that. If I do this I will have achieved something. Something that a few years ago was unreachable, and unthinkable.  If I don't, then I'll have missed a trick, missed a chance to put myself out there and take a risk.

Just a few moments of risk, of stupidity, of growing some balls and taking a chance, could lead to a life changing experience.  Taking it safe may be comfortable, but it's also not moving forward.

Life is for living.

Sweden - Crayfish, Game of Thrones and hangovers

First Swedish blog!

Its been a really fun, but full on couple of days :)  We were up at 4am on Thursday to fly over to Stockholm from Gatwick.  On landing, Ian and I were picked up by Anki and headed straight off to a seaport called Vaxholl.  Burger and a beer by the ships - all for research of course.  We then went to an old fort on an island which protected Stockholms waterways.  Joking aside, this was all really good for my book.  Its set in a port town, so Stockholm and the surrounding places are perfect.  That evening we had a few drinks whilst going through and fine tuning what I had written. We only managed 4 pages :S

On Friday we were up early again, and spent the day in Stockholm. We first visited a military history museum under the king's palace. This is where we saw costumes from the tv series Game of Thrones. Really interesting. A lot of the costume designs had been based on Scandinavian clothes from varies centuries, so the exhibition showed the actual ones from the tv series against historic garb.

This is one of Cersei's dresses

Joffrey

Me lol

Tyrion's black water armour

Anyways, I'll post more after this blog :)  that afternoon we visited a zoo - I kinda love zoo's.  And spent a really nice afternoon out in the sunshine. 

In the evening we again went through my novel, this time reaching the end of chapter 3! Progress.  Actually I'm really appreciative of Anki and Ian spending time helping me. It's all fine tuning on what I've already written, ironing out where sentences don't flow! and adding a bit more detail when it's needed. They are both really getting into the story :) thanks guys

The next morning was Anki's birthday.  We were having a crayfish party in the afternoon/evening, but in the morning Anki wanted to ho through more chapters :)) we managed to finish on chapter 8, and really rolling. That actually took most of the morning and into the afternoon, skipping lunch. The food here is amazing, and I was looking forward to the meal later. 

Wow, what party!  The swedes went full on Viking, and well I can't go into all the details, but there was a lot of drink, laughter,bashing of heads, falling down, and other stuff. At 1am ish everyone crashed.  I'm writing this Sunday afternoon whilst everyone else is asleep :) when they wake up it'll be more reading from my book. 

I'll try to post another blog before Tuesday when we fly home late, and some pictures. 

Hope you are all well and missing me :)

Matt

Pictures from Sweden

Real canon balls embedded into walls in Stockholm

Wolf

Palace guard

Anki and an old house

My wonderful Swedish hosts - Anki and Peter. Thank you guys :))

Writing is easy, editing is hard

So I'm currently lying in a settee trying to get the feeling back into my back, and the dizziness out of my head.

This morning, against the backdrop of a grey sky over a duck pond, with the constant hum of jet skis roaring in the background, I've been editing.

The plan was to edit the first 17 chapters of my novel and then move on to some writing drills. I'm 6 chapters down, each chapter taking between 30mins and an hour to go through. It's tough work.

If I had a pound for each time I've written "does this make any sense" then I'd have enough for a steak dinner for two, with an expensive bottle of wine and change for an ice cream on the way home.

So best get back to it.

Steam punk huzzah!

So this is where I went today. Lincoln for the worlds biggest Steam Punk festival... It was smaller then I expected.

I have no idea why, but I was really nervous going into Lincoln today.  Its my first face to face experience of Steam Punk, although its a culture which has interested and intrigued me for a few years now.

I could feel the butterflies growing as the Cathedral came into view.  It was probably excitement filled anxiety, like when you build something up in your head and then hope its all that you hoped for.

Well I learnt four things today...

1) Lincoln is really steep!  Both landscape and parking prices!
2)  The people who immerse themselves in Steam Punk are really friendly.  Like full on nice people
3)  They are also incredibly talented!  I saw a steam punk Lara Croft, Darlek,  and Lone Ranger.  All the outfits were amazing to look at.  I got more on my camera, and only a few on my phone, so the pictures don't really do them justice.

4)  It came across like a really nice community.  Everyone knew each other, were posing for photos and I sensed that what I as a member of the general public was allowed to see, was merely the tip of the iceberg.

Unfortunately Lincoln Castle, which was where the event was taking place, was having major rebuilding works done to it.  So much was closed off.  But I spend an enjoyable morning pottering around there ands the Cathedral, taking in the atmosphere and having a good time (despite the grey overcast weather).

Why did I go to a Steam Punk festival?  Well my novel has a distinct Steam Punk feel to it.  Its not pure Steam Punk, which takes alternative look at today's world, but it basis is a battle between Magic and Engineering.  My Engineering is all steam punk based.  So it was research.  

And I do feel inspired.  Tomorrow will be a full on day of editing and writing.  Wi-fi isn't great here so I probably wont blog tomorrow, but I will get my head down ready for Sweden where I'll be talking through my novel with two people I trust to give me honest feedback.

So thats my Steam Punk experiance.  I felt a bit like an outsider whilst walking around, which goes to show how comfortable the genre is, but its something I'll be looking more into, thats for sure.  

Arrived ready for Steampunk!

I made it to an undisclosed location just outside of Lincoln.  It's not quite what the brochure said, but still very nice.

Here's some pictures (see I kept me promise):

The cabin/static caravan is right on the edge of the lake about an minutes walk from the shop and bar.   Its semi peaceful.  I'm sat here piggybacking off someones unsecured BT wifi and looking out over the pond.  Ducks are splashing about happily, and a bird/squirrel/thief is trying to get in through the roof.  Next door, both sides, appear to be people who own their places.  Either that or they are very relaxed holiday makers.

Here's a view of the other side of the cabin...

yarp - its a massive campsite \m/

nm. So far its been peaceful.

So tomorrow I visit this Steampunk convention.  Very exciting.  As long as I don't get lost in Lincoln!  Then a few days of book editing before off to Sweden.

Cya folks!

Forgive me Father. It has been eight days since my last confession

Yeah, sorry its taken me so long to post another update on how this sabbatical is going.  Its been a very odd week full of fun, depression, meeting new people, catching up with old friends and writing.

After getting back from the US last year, I realised that I needed three things to keep me happy, sane and comfortable.  I always thought that my comfort zone was small because of a lack of self confidence, but looking back at what I've done, and what I've achieved makes me realise that actually my comfort zone is huge when I go off and out, and only tiny when I stand still.

The most fun I've had, and the times I've felt like myself, are my trips to Canada, Africa, and the US.  Last time I was in Sweden I relaxed more then I think I ever have, and I'm hoping the same will happen again.

So this is my last day at home before heading off to Lincoln and then Sweden.  I promise pictures! The three things I realised I needed - Space, Structure and Social - I understand now are more important then ever.  In California I had these things and it made me happy.  At Bishop's Ranch I had structure and routine; meals at a set time, group exercises at at set time, swimming first thing in the morning etc etc.  They weren't set in stone, but I knew this is what my day contained, and if I wanted to do something else, that was fine, but I always had the comfort to come back to these routines.

On an average week I have the same.  I have to leave the house at a certain time to get to work, I have a set lunch hour, and I have regular evening things that I do for each day of the week.  Obviously I can change this things, miss an evening's gaming or taking holiday, but the routine is in place for when I come back.  Its safe, secure, comfortable.

I need space.  When I'm put on the spot, asked a question that I wasn't expecting (or sometimes was expecting but don't have an answer for), it sends me into panic.  Not like a crazy Aaaaarrrrggggghhhh panic, but my brain goes blank and I stutter and don't have an answer.  Weirdly if something bad happens, or threatening, I react to this really well.  In fact the whole thing becomes reversed.  If I think about a threat or something going wrong, I panic.  Odd yes?  Anyway, I digress.  I'm sure people at work, friends and family can all relate to a time when I've been asked a question, sometimes a simple one - How much did we spend on Professional Fees last month?  Do you want to come over for Dinner?  I freeze up generally.  I need space, even if its just a few minutes, to figure things out, look things up and confirm my initial reaction.  The last thing I want to do is get something wrong, or give false hopes.  I get "people'd out" quite quickly, where I just need to have space.  Not alone time, just space from being part of the conversation.  Space allows me to reflect, to become comfortable with decisions.  (I was lying on my bed, finding myself getting down, and I forced myself up to write this blog.  I have quite alot to do today, starting with picking up my kroner in Glos which I had to order earlier this week, and then shopping, packing, tidying.  But first thing I just found myself staring at the ceiling.  Writing this is giving me the space to put down my thoughts, and I'm already feeling better.  More motivated.)

And social... human contact... This surprised me the most.  I often say how I "Don't like people".  People are annoying, selfish, grumpy.  Of course that's strangers.  People I know or meet are actually fun, giving and happy - generally.  But although I'm not good socially (in my own mind at least - I get shy, run out of things to say, get bored of what others are saying, and generally just want to escape), when I'm comfortable all these negative thoughts drift away and I find myself inspired and full of energy.

Its coming to the end of the third week of my sabbatical, and I really wish I'd gone away from the start.  Ok it wasn't possible, money and things breaking meant that I had to stay put, and actually the first two weeks were really really good.  I wrote loads, I got out loads, I met new people and had a lot of fun.  But the last few days have been really hard.  I can feel myself spiraling downwards.  Going away tomorrow probably couldn't come at a better time!

Interestingly my writing has also become darker.  The Crew have just been hit with a nasty shock, and are now heading into the gloom of the Mines, unaware of what nightmare awaits them.  The story is building up to its climax and its all very exciting.  Don't worry I'm not depressed :)  Just meh.

I've lost my structure.  Some mornings I've been up and about at 6am, others I've stayed in bed until gone 9am (which hasn't helped my back!).  Some nights I've gone to bed at 9pm, and others I've stayed up until the early hours of the following morning.  I eat at funny times, and what I eat is inconsistent.  I've had days at home, pure full on writing, and others where I've driven around various parts of the Forest and into Wales, visiting ruined Iron Mines, railway stations and castles.  Very few days have been planned, and spontaneous is good in many ways, but draining and unfulfilling in others.  I've stopped my regular gaming nights, golfing evenings, going round to my Mum and Dad's for a meal.  I honestly can't even work out what day it is without looking.  The last four days seem to have just blended into one.

I've had space, but the wrong sort of space.  I've had social aspects, but probably not enough.  Chatting with friends and family daily helps organise my mind and my thoughts.  I've had to many days spent alone.

So there is only one thing to do.  Sort it out!  Stop moping.  Be positive!

The story is going well, and that's good.  I've written 51,453 words, over 18 chapters.  Drafted out another 22 chapters... although I'm expecting this to reduce one I get writing, I have some twists I need to work out, but importantly I've picked out an Agent to whom I'm going to send it when its finished.  Things are picking up momentum, and there is no way I could have gotten this far without the sabbatical - and I'm thankful to my bosses for that.

Writing this, its becoming clearer that I've had 2 days of meh and 17 of awesome.  Ha!  Who knew.  So I start writing this feeling sorry for myself, and finish it feeling upbeat and positive!

Thank you for reading, and taking this journey with me :)

Matt

Writing in full swing

Hey hey!

Well the last four days have produced some really productive writing sessions I'm very happy to report.  I've broken the back of the most difficult part of the story I think, and now the action speeds up until the final climatic battle and cliff hanger ending.  I've managed to unravel a few things to link them into future books, and come up with a genius plot twist which I didn't see coming, but fits in nicely.

I've written in a death, a love scene, and got all the characters just where I want them.. well all but one who appears to have gone awol :S

Its kinda cool, but once I get writing, the time just flies by.  Most of the chapters now just need padding - extra substance, but the story is there.  I'm hoping to get most of the story down to send it to my two Sweden buddies - the one I'm going over with, and the one we're staying with.  That way we can sit down each evening and drink and chat about what they think of the story, where it fails, and where it needs a little bit more.  There are a few bits where I'm not sure I need some of the things I've added, but it'd be interesting to see their take on it.  Ian, who has been editing it from the start, is a genius, and Anki (who saw an early draft) is so supportive and she has great ideas.

The one thing I've realised so far on this sabbatical, is having good people around you make life exciting, adventurous, and basically just ... good!  Of course I miss everyone at work, especially some (you know who you are... <<Colin joke>>), but my friends and family have been really supportive over this first week.  Driven me on when I felt sure they'd be bored of me by now.  Even my brother from another mother texted this morning asking if I'd written anything today.  When I texted back saying no, he produced some very choice words, and gave me the kick in the ass I needed to get up and get going.

Cheers Bro frm ano Mo!

So today is more writing.  I'm also doing an online test thingy which should help me with word count and chapter structuring... at least that's what they promise.  I have nine days to get the story down in its most basic form, then its off to Lincoln for inspiration and some editing.  A week later I'll be in Sweden, and hopefully tying up loose chapters and adding content.  And then its the tough part.  Finishing it all off and getting it sent out :S

So that's me in a nutshell.  Hope you are all ok, and thanks for reading!  I'll try to get some pictures in to make it a little more interesting.  Castles, castles, castles - that's the next week in between the writing.

Have a great week!